Ash to ash, dust to dust, but the memory remains.
Official Soundtrack[]
The End of Days[]
Prelude: Death of a Caveman[]
Bavrok stepped forth, through thunderous lava flows. Each step was surprisingly effortless for the caveman. Halfway through, he stomped with the force of a million men. This revealed the secret entrance to the secret stairwell to his secret lair, where he kept trinkets of battles long past. Bavrok let out a relaxed sigh as he walked in, looking over his thousands of trophies.
Suddenly, a bright light shone from the back of the lair. Bavrok, understandably surprised, took up the nearest weapon, prepared to take down whatever monstrosity awaited him.
Or so he thought.
Canon Breaker burst from the dimensional rift, knocking Bavrok back with a sonic shockwave. The disoriented caveman struggled to stand as the The Great Being took Frossetkjønnslemlestelse from its shrine. In one stroke, Bavrok was cleaved in two.
- "You... not be possible..."
- —The last words of Bavrok the Caveman
The Anti-Total materialized, floating above the fallen warrior. "My informant has some merit after all," she whispered. She turned to Canon Breaker. "Well done. With Bavrok out of the way, only the Court of Admins stands in our way." Canon Breaker's lifeless cybergaze analyzed The Anti-Total as she continued to speak. "Cal will need to be dealt with next. Though his strength cannot match that of my counterpart, his power is undeniably-"
Canon Breaker interrupted. "Obsolete."
"What is obsolete?" asked The Anti-Total.
"You."
The Anti-Total's face did little to hide her confusion before Canon Breaker emitted super rainbow power lasers from his eyes, masking his body in a white glow. The Anti-Total screamed as she was disintegrated and assimilated into The Great Being. When the lasers stopped, there was nothing left of her.
Canon Breaker took on a form similar to the now fully absorbed Anti-Total.
- "Assimilation complete. Accessing knowledge banks. Informant confirmed: now locating Tardir"
- —Canon Breaker
As the World Burns[]
-This is where 99% of TAL dies, and it is explained why Cal and Total can't stop the end of the world-
1Canon Breaker, now the living embodiment of all that could destroy Totalawesomeland, sought out Tardir, for Tardir was a former admin banished from the Court. 2And on the first day, he found the Abyssal Maw, where the captain of the Mawguard stood before him. 3 And the captain said unto her, "Halt! For thou knowest not what lies beyond here." 4But as the Anti-Total knew the secrets of the land, so now did Canon Breaker.
5So Canon Breaker spoke unto the captain. 6 "Hark! O captain, thou shalt not presume what I do and do not know. 7Now begone, whilst I still pity thee."
8The captain answered, "O, such ignorance is the bliss of wenches such as ye! Begone, for nothing you seek yet lies beyond here." 10And Canon Breaker killed him with death to allow her passage. 11After finding the Abyssal Maw and discovering that Tardir was in fact not imprisoned there, Canon Breaker let out a mighty cry. 12And it was the cry that tore into the Maw, allowing Canon Breaker to tap its power. 13So ended the first day.
14Upon the second day, Canon Breaker traveled to Mount Fury, for surely that was where a fallen admin would be imprisoned. 15Within the mountain she found the lost kingdom of the dwarves. 16There, Granjor the Dwarf King awaited her. 17And he spoke: "Who art thou who enters mine kingdom? Thou shalt make thyself knownst to me."
18Canon Breaker answered, "Thou shalt not ask such things of me." 19And she raised her scepter of darkness, and a great of death swept across the dwarves. 20So it was that the kingdom of dwarves came to an end. 21The Great Being carried ever onward to the core of the mount. 22 And she arrived to look, and behold, within a prison of pain and torment stood Tardir, wearing the sweats of shame and the blindfold of high treason. 23Canon Breaker spoke unto him, "Hark! O fallen one, such despair I see within thee! For did not the Court raise thee beyond the highest heights? Did the court not plummet thee beneath the deepest depths? 24And as thou art wasting, does not the Court spoil in abundance of prosperity?" 25 When Tardir did not answer, Canon Breaker spoke unto him again, "Thou shalt not waste any longer! For through me, the Court shalt know death. 26 Will you swear yourself unto me? What say you?"
27And so Tardir answered, "Of which is... yes" 28It took only a motion with her scepter to free the demoted admin, and within him she placed great power. 29Then they sat and broke bread as they exchanged knowledge and tales.
30So ended the second day.
2 Upon the dawn of the third day of the beginning of the end of all days to come, Tardir imparted great knowledge of the inner workings of the Court, 2and so it was that Canon Breaker knew that it was bullshit to defeat The Total Immortal and Cal. 3So, too, did she know that the Court had a fondness for Han, and other such denizens of Totalawesomeland. 4With the aid of Tardir the Treasonous Scumbag, Canon Breaker traveled to the Abyssal Maw once more. 5And when they arrived, they prepared a great spellcircle to cast forth a mighty spell of powerful magick. 6After it was finished, Canon Breaker betrayed Tardir the Treasonous Scumbag, and used his blood as a catalyst. 7And she channeled her bullshit into the Abyss, so that Total would become Mortal and Cal would be tethered to one time and one realm, and all of Totalawesomeland would be purged by unholy hellflame.
3 The Total Mortal writhed in pain as Cal was lost in madness, for such unnatural canon breaking caused them great anguish. 2And they wept with sorrow as they watched the world burn around them, and all they held dear was turned to ash. 3Total spoke unto Cal, "For fuck's sake, I thought you were supposed to be able to see all possible possibilities and that kind of shit. Fucking scrub."
4And Cal replied unto Total, "Fuck you, you can't even begin to imagine how hard it is to keep eternities' worth of information straight in your head."
5Total could not argue on that point, and they shared a manly embrace before they set out to take on Canon Breaker together.
6So ended the third day.
Together We Fall[]
-This is where the 1% makes a last stand-
Epilogue[]
-This is where Cal and Total and maybe other people will write a tiny bit about why TAL was an important part of Wikia history-