Supah is an evil wizard trying to take over Totalawesomeland, and is the archenemy of the Court of Admins. He lives in the Tower of Absurdness, which in accordance with its name is absurdly tall. Despite his powerful magic, and brilliant plans nothing ever seems to go right for Supah. He is also secretly a nice guy.
History[]
No one really knows the origins of Supah. In fact nobody knows his real name. He changed his name to Supah in order to let everybody know just how awesome he was. His origins are a mystery, as Supah continuously creates backstories to make himself seem more cool. What is uniform throughout these stories is that ever since Supah was little he had dreams of world domination.
At some point in his past Supah went on a pilgrimage to learn all of the Dark Arts that he could find. Some of his masters included Darth Sidious, Ahriman, Sauron, Voldemort, Ganondorf and Simon Cowell. Having mastered numerous unspeakable powers, Supah set about with the next step of his take over the world plans. He needed a lair, and a land to build it in. He decided that the site of his lair, and the first land that he would conquer on his way to world domination would be Totalawesomeland. Wanting to distinguish himself as a villain, and keeping to the fact that bad guys like high places, Supah went about constructing the tallest tower he possibly could. He immediately ran into problems, as the Totalawesomeland Zoning Commission refused to allow him to build his tower. Furthermore the homeowners association in the neighborhood he was trying to build in would not stop pestering him.
As a result Supah summoned a demonic horde to crush them, beginning the Permit War. Unfortunately even with his army of nightmares, Supah was outmatched by the sheer ferocity of his opponents. Realizing he could not win this battle, Supah managed to overcome his opponents with a mixture of bribes, gifts for his neighbors, brainwashing and volunteering to host a baby shower. With his obstacles overcome he created the Tower of Absurdness, and it has been an eyesore to Totalawesomeland ever since.
With is demon horde and the Shinydale Homeowners Association at his back, Supah launched his first attempt to conquer Totalawesomeland. He declared war on the Court of Admins and began his dark war of domination. Things wer going well until The Total Immortal came back from lunch. Noticing the mess that Supah had made, the Total Immortal raised the mighty Trollkicker, and smote Supah and his hordes. He then sent Supah to his room for a week. Supah vowed to gain revenge, and has been unsuccessful since his vow.
Cthulhu[]
The next thing that Supah attempted also ended in failure. He first created a bunker that could survive the end of the world. Then Supah took his forces down to Asskicker, and attempted to awaken the mighty Cthulhu to bring about the end of days. He would then hide in his bunker until it was over. He set up camp, and started the three day ritual to awaken Cthulhu. On the third day of the ritual the Total Immortal raised his eyes from the book he was reading and proclaimed, "What the fuck?!". He then sent the Court of Admins down to Asskicker to stop Supah.
Supah had prepared for the inevitable attack of the Court of Admins. His minions and many traps continually slowed their progress they finally got to Supah as he was finishing his ritual. They did not have time to stop him, and it seemed as if this was going to be the end. However just as he was about to finish Cthulhu rolled over in his sleep, and on top of Supah. Supah spent a whole month beneath Cthulhu's massive behind before Legionairus XXII felt sorry for him and flipped Cthulhu over. The trauma has caused Supah to avoid Cthulhu like the Plague ever since.
When it Rains it Pours[]
Suaph then secluded himself within his tower for his next evil plan. This time he would use something that could not roll on top of him to destroy those that opposed him. He would use nature. He spent six months isolated in his chambers within the Tower of Absurdness in order to work on a magical aparatus to manipulate the weather. Using it he would cause a torential downpour of rain that would flood Totalawesomeland.
After his long seclusion Supah unleashed his rainstorm upon Totalawesomeland. Supah was sure that no one could stop him this time. However in this instance he would be his own undoing. Unbeknownst to Supah, during his seclusion there had been as massive drought in Totalawesomeland. All of the lakes, rivers and other bodies of water had dried up. So when Supah's deluge hit Totalawesomeland it did not flood it, but rather it replenished all of the water supplies and ended the drought. Supah was hailed as a hero. He spent the rest of his night on that day beating his head against the wall of his room.
Shinydale[]
The community of Shinydale is Supah's unofficial dark domain. The unholy area of Totalawesome land is a place of pure terror. Children play outside, soccer moms car pool to take their children to school or scouts and on the weekend the air is filled with the horrible sounds of... Yard work! Okay, so it is not exactly an evil domain, but it was the best area that Supah could afford to move into. Regardless, Supah is the unofficial evil lord of Shinydale. However the real power lies with the Shinydale Homeowners Association, a powerful, elitist group that is the law in Shinydale. They are the only ones besides the Total Immortal that Supah fears. Supah often convinces the association to back him by being a good neighbor, and offering his services with yard work or baby sitting.
Tower of Absurdness[]
The Tower of Absurdness is an appropriately named aburdly tall tower, and also Supah's lair. The tower stretches all the way out of the atmosphere, and into space. As a result Supah routinely recieves damage bills from numerous government agencies whose satellites often wreck upon the structure. Supah made the tower as tall as it is based upon the observation that villains tend to like high places, and fancying himself the ultimate villain he made his lair an impossibly tall tower.
The exact number of floors that the tower possesses is not entirely known. However the tower contains numerous mysteries and wonders. It has cages and yards on some floors for the many outrageous pets that Supah has collected. In some places the tower has portals that travel to various places, and are even connected to other dimensions in some cases. Supah often has difficulty keeping track of which portal goes where, which has lead to some embarrassing mistakes and close calls on his part. There is also rumored to be a five star resort somewhere within the tower, but even Supah does not know where it could be. Any visitors to the tower should be warned that it is very easy to get lost within the tower, as Supah can attest.
The tower is populated by Supah's many minions. They run the tower, cleaning it up, repairing any damages and completely wrecking the place whenever they throw a party. Supah himself live on the topmost floor of the tower. To the suprize of many Supah is a very good host whenever visitors arrive, but few are willing to brave the ridiculously long staircase to get to the top of the tower. When asked why he did not simply put an elevator in, Supah stated that going up and down the staircase is good exercise.
Supah Burger[]
In his brilliant/stupid mind Supah concocted an inspired(sort of) plan. Supah opened a fast food franchise called Supah Burger. Through Supah Burger's cheap, quick good tasting food Supah would slowly kill off most of Totalawesomeland with coronary heart disease and high blood pressure, and render the remainder defensless due to their obesity. This long term plan has had remarkable success, as nobody has put a stop to it yet and Supah is actually making some money. Supah Burger is thought to be one of the few good things that Supah has done by Totalawesomeland's inhabitants. Supah's plan has had some difficulties since the Totla Immortal decreed that all resteraunts must have healthy alternatives as well as their normal menu.
Personality[]
Powers and Abilities[]
Supah is an extremely powerful opponent despite the fact that he always seems to lose. Having studied the dark arts under some of the greatest masters of all time, Supah is easily one of the greatest sorcerers in Totalawesomeland. This can be seen in the many incredible spells that he comes up with in order to conquer Totalawesomeland.
He is quite a clever strategist, having outsitted some of Totalawesomeland's most brilliant minds at one point or another. Despite this he can be rather absent minded, this combined with some considerably bad luck makes a victory for Supah very rare.
While he initially relied entirely on his magic and minions for the purposes of combat, he has recently decided to learn martial arts. He decided to do this after Bavrok the Caveman beat him senseless. Following this he went to train with Mr. Miagi. He returned, and challenged Bavrok again only to be hammered into the ground like a human stake.
Supah Angry Kick![]
One of Supah's signature moves. When Supah gets legitimately angry, he will often perform a flying jump kick while yelling the above name. Despite it being a very unimpressive power by comparison to his magic, the kick seems to be unusually effective. The Supah Angry Kick has to do damage to some of the most powerful beings in existence. He even managed to pull it off on the Total Immortal once. Why something that is essentially a pissed off jump kick is so effective is completely unknown.
Last Boss Transformation[]
Supah's greatest ability. The spell allows him to go into a transformation into a powerful montrous form. While transformed Supah has god like power, and has been able to overwhelm some of Totalawesomeland's mightiest inhabitants. Supah's Last Boss transformation does not seem to have a set form. He has been known to take the form of a dragon, a giant demon and many other formidable forms. If Supah's word can be taken seriously he does not know what he will transform into either, and it is just as much a surpize for him as well. The transformations do have drawbacks however. While the chance is small, there is a chance that the form Supah takes will be pathetic, or ridiculous. Furthermore Supah always gets sick after performing the transformation, and this gets worse if he is beaten while transformed, which he always inevitably is. As a result Supah only uses it as a last resort.
Relationships[]
Cal[]
Syrath[]
The Evildoer of evil things that is evil. Syrath is a villainous and power hungry individual that has also set his sights on conquering Totalawesomeland. As a result he and Supah have been long time rivals. Each has foiled the other's plots on several occasions. They have worked together in rare instances, but any alliance tends to dissolve quickly due to the pair's competitive nature. When they are not executing some master plan, they spend their time doing staring contests from their respective towers using telescopes. Both cheat, and neither has gained the upper hand.
Count Fuzzlebane[]
Supah's pet Fire Dragon Bunny. Of all his many magical pets, Count Fuzzlebane is Supah's favorite. He often uses the massive fire breathing rabbit as a mount. However while Fuzzlebane is Supah's favorite pet, he is also the most volatile of them. All of the minions thuroughly hate the monster, as he routinely uses them as chew toys, and they are forced to clean up the creature's dung when he goes to the bathroom within the tower. Fuzzlebane also eats Supah whenever he has his back turned. Why Supah never remembers this is a mystery.
Quotes[]
By[]
- "You can't conquer Totalawesomeland! I call dibbs!"
- —Supah to Syrath
- "In my brilliance I made a ward that would prevent teleportation of any kind into my tower. As a result the many omnipotent beings of Totalawesomeland can't popo in and surprize me. Muahaha! However the ward also prevents me from teleporting out... *Sigh*. To the stairs again."
- —Supah realizing that not being able to teleport out of the tallest tower ever is a major downer.
About[]
- "Sorry to rain on your...parade! Haahahahahha, I'm so evil, I best get a sundae and lemonade to celebrate, do you want one? Just kidding hahahhahaha"
- —Syrath, being nasty to Supah